All of our class readings have centered around different author’s opinions of what privacy means, so I think it’s time I put my two cents out there and state what I believe to be the fundamentals of privacy.
1) If I do not want to be found on a website, I should not be able to be found. When I turned 18 three weeks ago, I had to change my Facebook privacy setting so that people could still not Google search my name and find my Facebook profile. As a minor, Facebook is on that setting as a default. However, enough Facebook posts with my name in them pop up on Google that people know I have (or had) a profile. Pinterest has the same setting, but I searched my name after changing it, and my profile and pins were still all over the internet. Not to be antisocial, but I prefer strangers not be able to find me through Google. Neither should anyone else who wishes to restrict their social networking profiles to people they are actually social with on a regular basis.
2) The above statement should not lead people to believe I have something to hide. Harry Blatterer made the argument in his piece that visibility is seen as having nothing to hide. But, what if I just would rather not have everyone know everything? I fully admit to hiding my Facebook posts from my dad when they are about boys and other teenage girl stuff, but just because until this class my Twitter was private, does that really have to mean I was hiding everything?
3) When I cease to be as a human, my online profiles should also be taken down. In “Generation Why” by Zadie Smith, she references a British teen who was murdered and whose friends continued to post on her Facebook like nothing really happened. In the 17 years my high school had been open when I graduated, there have been 2 unexpected deaths of students, and the same thing happened both times. Frankly, I find it creepy. Facebook still suggests one of them on “People You may Know,” and it is odd to see her picture there like she’s still alive. The first death happened 6 years ago, and there have been posts to her wall as recently as yesterday. Am I the only person that thinks this is wrong?
I realize my opinions may differ from the “kids these days” statements and stereotypes of our generation, but I can’t be the only one who looks at overly-public peers and scratches my head.
I find the same thing true about the posts on the facebooks of deceased classmates. I find it so impersonal and almost rude in a way. Writing an email or making a phonecall to the family who is suffering from the loss would be much more productive and meaningful. I think part of why this happens is a visibility thing again: they want to have some part of this tragedy to call their own, and Facebook is an easy outlet to get attention with the best “I’ll miss you R.I.P” post (also I feel like you should respect the dead enough to type out the phrase “rest in peace”).
You definitely aren’t the only one who looks at “overly-public” peers and scratches your head. However, we cannot be the ones to judge them. In some cases, they might know and be alright with how public they are being. Some people decide to use these social media sites differently than others. I like your idea of posting your own opinion of the fundamentals of privacy. It does indeed feel like we are being bombarded with so many different arguments and views on the matter. Personally, I feel I need to take a step back and assess where I stand on the issue after hearing so many people’s two cents. Your three points were all great. It is pretty frustrating and a bit unsettling that we cannot completely delete ourselves from Facebook and sites like it. At the same time, I suppose we should have known what we were getting ourselves into…
Also, I did not really realize that what Smith had discussed regarding the posting on the walls of the deceased was such a prevalent scenario. If that is indeed the case, I agree that it is all quite creepy, wrong, and insensitve. Facebook and other similar sites should bring down the profiles of deceased people out of respect and, frankly, common sense!
When you say you don’t want to be found on a website, what are your opinions on the goverment sites that register you as a person, and will publicly recognize your existance in certain states (sometimes as accurate as the town or street you live on). Now I also have a clairification question, when you say ‘not be found’ you mean that you don’t want to be found by a google search of your name, now if you search facebook for your name you would still show up….Or do you want people to not be able to see anything on your profiles until you have accepted a friend request? I feel that although yes the commenting on a deceased friends accounts seems petty, disrespectful and creepy, it actually serve as a form of closure for the commenter. I guess the feeling of mild nausia by the rest of us is worth the mental help it gives the sufferer, plus it can help the family, or those who may not have realized the person died.
Phil- I am perfectly ok with government sites that register me as a person, and to clarify, I’d rather not have someone to be able to Google my name and have my Facebook profile and other social networking sites show up. People can search for me on Facebook, and my profile will show up, but with very limited information (i.e not my birthday or pictures or anything)
I definatly agree with you on a lot that you said. I actually believe that social networking sites should offer more privacy options for those who want to be more private, but I also don’t really care if someone wants to be more public. The one thing about the interenet is that no matter how many privacy settings you said, whatever you post is on there for ever and is always accessible to anyone who really wants to get it. With that idea in mind, the question is, is there really such a thing as privacy on the internet? Like you mentioned in your blog post you changed your pintrest name, but you could still find all your posts on the internet. The truth is, even if you deleted your facebook profile, facebook still has all your information and someone can always try and acess it. With people posting on dead people profiles I have to agree with Phil. While to a certain extent it can be creepy, for some people it may be the best way for them to get closure. To them it may be the opportunity to say that final goodbye that they didn’t get to say to the person in real life. I believe this starts to become really creepy with a month after the person has died they are still posting on their profile.
I agree with the majority of what you said. I agree that posting on a deceased friend’s Facebook wall is creepy and impersonal and I personally do not do that. However, that is just my opinion. This past summer, the brother of one of my coworker’s passed away. I know that they were extremely close and this was very hard for her. She changed her profile pictures, updated her statuses, and posted on his wall. This is one of the ways she coped with this horrible experience. While I personally would not respond to a death the same way she did, who am I to say that she can’t? If that is helping her get through such a devastating time than she should be able too.
I agree that if you want your information to be private it should remain so. However, by putting information on social networking sites we are no longer laying claim to that information. As mentioned in ‘We Live in Public’, whoever we give our information to now owns us. Facebook will forever be able to access that information even if it is not available to the general public. Also, what teenage girl doesn’t want to hid some things on Facebook from their dad? Just because some information isn’t visible does not necessarily mean you are hiding it. It simply means it is not meant for everyone to know. As for posting on a deceased friend’s wall, there’s a fine line. I agree with Kristina that more respect should be shown to the deceased. Facebook does provide an outlet for whatever a friend or family member might not have been able to tell the person before they died. I have looked at some profiles of kids from my town that have passed away. It seems as though after a point many of the “I miss you” posts have stopped or at least slowed down. Those who do keep posting are usually close friends or family. To me this is not creepy or disrespectful, but thoughtful and possibly even freeing to a friend or family member.
I agree for the most part on internet privacy, If you do not wish to be found, you shouldn’t be found. Unfortunately, there are several back doors behind any internet privacy policy and these are not always as effective as one may hope. In regards to having a social networking site after you have deceased I 100% agree! There is a student from my high school who took his own life and since that day, I have recieved several friend requests from this person and often see people posting upon his wall. I find this to be incredibly disrespectful to his life and death experience as the person managing his facebook account may not have his “best wishes” in mind but is instead manipulating this account as a coping mechanism. I understand that these things are hard but everyone will die at one point or another but there are ways to handle the stress of it all through human interaction such as speaking to a therapist or a support group. Just because the person has a page, does not mean that they are still alive or should be in the digital world. On facebook you can follow this URL (http://www.facebook.com/help/contact/?id=305593649477238) to report the death of a person but the page will then become open and memorialized for their sake. Anyways, I feel as though if you want to pay your respects by leaving little notes and telling them what they are missing out on in life, you should visit their grave, NOT their social networking site.
In regards to the Facebook posts on the walls of deceased users, I’m kind of torn on the issue. I do realize that for some people, by being able to express how they feel about the situation or what the person meant to them, they are better able to cope. However, I think that the posts by people who don’t know the person are insensitive and completely unnecessary. I have to agree with Tina that it seems like those people simply post something because everyone else is doing it and they want to see how many likes they can get. Last year, a student at my high school passed away during the school year. The night of his passing, my newsfeed was flooded with rest in peace posts. As a result, many of the student’s close friends perceived these posts to be insincere and were offended by them. One of them even posted, “Get off Facebook. He’s in our hearts, not our statuses.”
Even so, who’s to say that we should decide what other people to choose to post on Facebook? In the status box, Facebook asks, “What’s on your mind?” Thus, I feel that people should be allowed to openly state their thoughts, opinions, and feelings. If we don’t want to know how other people are feeling about something that’s going on in their lives or even just what’s on their mind, there’s no reason for us to be friends with them on Facebook.
I absolutely agree. If a person does not want people to Google search their information, it should be a) clearly stated that by making a Facebook profile, users are at risk of having their information accessible in places other than Facebook, and b) easy to adjust settings to prevent personal information from being accessible in non-Facebook websites. I also agree that just because you don’t want everyone to be able to access your information all the time does not mean you’re hiding anything. People may not want their information accessed for many reasons, security and personal privacy values being two of many. Social networking was intended for people to increase their sociability, but they should be able to control the extent to which their personal information is accessible. I believe that people shouldn’t have to worry about some person they’re uncomfortable with Googling them just because they want to keep in touch with certain friends.